I'm already starting to get sick of this stupid green layout, but whenever I think about changing it and all the work that's involved, I get a sinking feeling in my stomach. Mind you, I get that sinking feeling every time I think about work of any sort. ^_^

Sooo, Valentine's Day is coming up pretty quick. Well, whoop-dee-freakin-doooo! This will be the twentieth consecutive year I've spent this useless holiday alone, without a significant other of any kind. Do I sound bitter? Oh, I'm sorry. That would be the miserable, lonely, companionless wretch of a girl inside of me speaking up. My inner fat girl is passed out right now thanks to Steve's yummy dinner, so inner wretch girl thinks she can come out to play. "Alas!" she cries in despair, "I am doomed to a life of eternal solitude! *weep*" Hey, you'd feel that way too if you had my luck with the menfolk!

I think my biggest problem right now is that I don't even know what I want. For awhile there, I was totally into the idea of a good, solid, long-term relationship. Steve and Minna (shout-outs! hehe) were to thank for that, since I spent pretty much all of my time around them back when they first started going out and were in that sickening, lovey-dovey stage. But then all that stuff happened with Chris. I thought things were going to work out and that I'd finally found me a commitment-lovin' guy, that my days of the two-week relationship were finally coming to an end. Let's just say I thought kinda wrong. *cough* Then over Christmas break I decided I wanted to return to my slutty, one-night-standish ways. Ummm... suffice it to say that that's not really working out for me. For one thing, I don't drink and party like I used to, and I also don't frequent the bars much these days either. Not that these are bad things. They just aren't very conducive to the slut's way of life. :P

Meh. I don't know why it's so hard to find somebody. I mean, I'm not terribly picky... I don't have an "ideal" or a type, or anything to that effect. I'm totally willing to sacrifice really good looks for personality - I can be all about the cute and quirky boys, really! As long as I'm attracted to the guy in some way, it's all good. Minna always says that I need to expand my social circle to find somebody, and I know she's right. But it's hard to find new social groups so far into the year; it not only takes opportunity, but it also requires a lot of effort. Though I suppose that if I'm not willing to expend that energy, I shouldn't really complain.

Well I guess I just partially solved my own problem. It's time for me to stop hiding in my room all the time, listening to sad slow songs and wishing I had me a man, and get out there and just start hanging with people. Not necessarily even to find a boyfriend, since those magical, mysterious things always seem to appear only when I've stopped looking. :S A little socializing can't hurt, right? Word, homie.

Currently listening to: Tiny Dancer by Elton John
Quote of the day: "Kennedy kneels next to Willren as Warren and tells her (him?) that she doesn't think Willow did anything wrong. She explains the Warrenness is 'just magic' and says magic 'is just like fairy tales.' The fairy tales about doing too much crack? I'm not familiar with those." - TWoP

I'm giving up on the studying. I didn't do nearly enough of it, but meh, whatever. It's just POLS 100... Hopefully what I learned in 200 will help, and if it's a multiple-choice exam, then booyah for me. I'm not going to kill myself over it anymore.

I'm kind of disappointed with how this blog thing has been working out for me. So far it just seems like a lame, 13-year-old's diary, albeit a sort of censored version because I'm assuming I'm not the only one who reads it (although that's most likely the case :P). One of these days I want to start writing entries that are more than just random, this-is-what's-on-my-mind/this-is-what-I-did-today dealies. Entries with themes. You know, like mini-essays. Ones that don't suck and are sort of interesting. But I think that's dreaming pretty big for me, heh heh. I guess we'll just have to wait and see what happens.

I had my first RA "intervention" experience today. It was kind of scary and yet cool that someone from my floor who I hadn't ever met before felt comfortable enough to come talk to me about her problem. I felt pretty awful for her because I've totally been in her shoes, but asides from empathizing with her situation, there wasn't much else I could do. At the time, I felt like the most useless, inadequate RA ever, and she probably thought I was a babbling idiot, but in retrospect I think I did what I needed to do. I offerred consolation and let her know I'm always here to listen, and told her to give it time. Meh, I hope she doesn't think I'm a complete moron!

Currently listening to: Ain't No Sunshine by... some guy o_O
Quote of the day: "I've been afraid of changing 'cause I built my life around you/Time makes you bolder, even children get older/And I'm getting older, too" - Landslide by Stevie Nicks